Over the last few years, if anything, we’ve learnt through the pandemic and endless lockdowns that human contact is a pretty valuable thing. We probably all took for granted the fact that on a daily basis we’re around lots of people, who we generally can be quite tactile with. For many people, the thing they wanted most when restrictions started to ease up was to hug the people they care about.
But are hugs for everyone?
We want to flip the convo this #NationalHuggingDay and take a look at some of the reasons why some people might not be into an embrace.
Nature vs nurture…
Although hugging might feel like second nature to some, Professor of Counseling and Counselor Education, Suzanne Degges-White, says that not enjoying a hug could come from the way you’re brought up. She says, “Our tendency to engage in physical touch, whether hugging, a pat on the back, or linking arms with a friend, is often a product of our early childhood experiences…in a family that was not typically physically demonstrative, children may grow up and follow that same pattern”.
It’s a cultural thing…
Here in the UK, a hug is a very common greeting and way to show someone you love and respect them. But many cultures around the world don’t hug to do this. In countries like India, Nepal, Thailand and Japan, a bow is customary rather than a hug. In India and Nepal, a bow, alongside saying “Namaste” is considered a sign of respect and gratitude. In Thailand, the higher you place your hands as you bow, the more respect you’re showing. And in Japan, a deeper bow indicates a higher level of respect - men bow with their hands at their sides, and women with their hands on their thighs. A newer head bow (like a more emphasised nod) is becoming common with young people too!
A hug might not feel right, but what about a sniff? In Greenland, kunik is the Inuit tradition between close friends and family members, of placing your nose and upper lip against someone else’s cheek or forehead and sniffing.
There are lots of cultures that use their hands rather than hugs. In Malaysia, people take each other’s hands lightly, then release and bring their own hands to their headt, nodding slightly. This symbolises goodwill and an open heart. And in Zimbabwe, people clap their hands in a call and response way, so, the first person claps once, and the second person twice, in response.
It’s just a bit weird…
When you think about it, hugging is a bit weird. Pressing your body close to someone else - even if they’re a stranger - and wrapping your arms around them tightly, breathing in the same air very close to each other. If you’re someone with social anxiety or claustrophobia, being swept up into a hug could be quite intimidating or triggering! There are also some people who have Haphephobia - an anxiety disorder characterised by a fear of being touched - which can make them feel incredibly overwhelmed, nauseous, and bring on hyperventilation or panic attacks. Throw in a global pandemic on top of all of this, and the worry of germs floating around and hugging can seem a bit too much…
Just not that into it…
It might not feel weird, it might not feel claustrophobic, it might not be a cultural thing…it might just be that some people aren’t that into it! Physical and personal boundaries are really important, and for some people, having their own space is something they treasure. So, having someone invade it - even if they are a close friend - can be really annoying. Maybe a high-five is their go to.
Do you like hugs or would you rather avoid them at all costs? Let us know @NCS!
FAQs
You could respond with something like, "I wish I could hug you too!" or "I can't wait until we can hug in person." This shows that you are reciprocating the desire for physical affection and are looking forward to being able to do so.
How to reply to a hug emoji? ›
How to Respond to the 🤗 (Hugging Face) Emoji? Reply to the message itself if it's an appreciative or jazz hands 🤗 emoji. If someone sends you a 🤗 to let you know that they're thankful, excited, or appreciate, you don't actually need to reply in a specific way. Just respond to the body of their message.
How do you know if a hug is more than a friendly? ›
If it's just a short, light squeeze when you hug, then it's probably just a friendly gesture. If the person hugs you tightly, puts their arms around your waist, or holds on for a long time, then it's a good sign they're attracted to you.
What if a girl asks for a hug? ›
It means she asked for a hug. You may now either hug her, or not hug her. It's up to you. It also means that this girl is probably familiar enough that she feels comfortable receiving a hug from you.
What does xxoo mean in texting? ›
It's pretty common knowledge that XOXO means "hugs and kisses." As Dictionary.com defines it, the phrase is generally thought of as a "lighthearted way of expressing affection, sincerity, or deep friendship." The X represents a kiss, while the O represents a hug.
When a man asks you for a hug? ›
What does it mean when a guy ask for a hug? - Quora. That he is a gentleman who is experiencing a feeling of affection towards you and is asking your permission to express it that way. It means he'd like a hug, yet also respects your autonomy enough to ask rather than just assume you feel the same way.
How do you flirt while hugging? ›
Make head contact.
Don't go too far to the side, though—you want your cheek to brush up against the other person's face. To add an extra romantic touch, nuzzle your head or even your face into the head/neck of the other person (or chest, if you're much shorter than the person you're hugging).
What to do when he hugs you? ›
Hug him back and match his intensity.
If you enjoyed the hug, reciprocate if you feel up for it. Match the pressure of his hug: if he embraced you gently, embrace him gently; if he held you tight, hold him tight. Even if you don't know what his hug meant, you can return the hug if you feel comfortable.
What does 🙃 mean flirting? ›
They're goofing around with you. In a flirty message, the 🙃 emoji can carry the same weight as 😏 and 😈. So if they start sending a bunch of 🙃 in a row, they're probably trying to keep things light, playful, and flirty.
What does 😏 mean from a girl? ›
As its official name reveals, 😏 Smirking Face represents the facial expression of a smirk. It's used to communicate a range of feelings, including smugness, self-confidence, self-indulgence, mischief, cheeky humor, and general satisfaction.
What does Upside-Down Face emoji 🙃 mean? The upside-down face emoji, sometimes known as the upside-down smiley face, has several meanings depending on the context and personality of the user. It can indicate silliness, sarcasm, irony, passive aggression, or frustrated resignation.
Can you tell if someone likes you through a hug? ›
If someone is interested in you romantically, they might deepen a hug by alternating their arm positioning, Webb explains. For example, they could loop one of their arms over your shoulder and the other around your waist.
When a girl hugs you tight? ›
Flirting The person you're hugging may be trying to tell you that they're interested. The tight hug could be their way of saying: “I want to be closer to you”, while they press their body up against yours.
How long is an acceptable hug? ›
They found that a longer hug — between five and 10 seconds — delivered a more positive impact compared to shorter ones.
When a guy wants to hug you? ›
Affection and Care: Initiating a hug can be a sign that the guy cares about you. It shows that he wants to physically connect with you and express his affection [1]. Friendship: If the guy initiates a hug in a friendly manner, it could indicate that he considers you a good friend.
What if a guy asks for a hug? ›
Such a gesture means the guy is into the girl. He is happy to hold the girl tightly and have his arms around her. Also, it means the guy wants the moment to last as long as it will, especially if he accompanies it by closing his eyes. A tight hug from a man also indicates his feeling towards you.
How to do a flirty hug? ›
How do you hug someone romantically? Hug someone romantically by positioning your arms around their torso to pull them closer to you. Then, lean your head against their's and squeeze them softly. This makes for a more affectionate hug.
When a guy says he wants to hug and kiss you? ›
It means that he is interested in your body, but it doesn't necessarily mean he is just interested in your body. I would argue that hugs and kisses on the cheek/forehead are signs of care and affection more than anything.
